Speed Dating Events

Not all men are wolves in gorilla’s clothing. There is a successful proposition for every unsuccessful one, and many men discover for themselves the truth of the old biblical adage, ‘ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find’. They don’t have to be great stylists. They simply have to make a woman feel as if they mean it for her, and for her alone. If they can do that, they can get away with the most . . . laid-back approaches.

Some men actually specialize in offering themselves with an off-hand shrug, simply as an interlude in the long boredom of life. Gallic lovers are expert in the invitation to keep ennui at bay, as a game for two players. Françoise Sagan’s Luc is the type of man to drive any woman wild with desire — sexy, inscrutable, irresistible. He doesn’t even bother to court the heroine of Sagan’s first famous teenage-confessional novel. He just tells her what’s on the agenda:

I want to possess you, to spend a night with you.

I never thought . . . I never thought I would come to admire you. I do very much, Dominique. I love you very much. I can’t promise to love you for ‘ever and ever’ as children say, but we are very alike, you know.

I not only want to sleep with you, I want to lie with you, go away with you on holiday. We would be very happy, very loving. I would show you the sea, teach you about money, and how to feel more free. We’d be less bored, that’s all.

It may be all, but it’s enough. In fact, it’s fantastic. I nearly fell for a man purely because he asked me to go with him to the Arpège. The Arpège? I found out afterwards he meant the Ardeche, but what the hell. In this case, he wasn’t quite enough. But Luc is more than enough for Dominique. She accepts his offer, and with her eyes wide open says `Bonjour, Tristesse’ like thousands of women before and since.

But surely the uncrowned king of the proposition was the writer, artist and sex athlete Frank Harris. If he succeeded with women even half the times he claimed he had, he ought to be in the Guinness Book of Records. Harris had two shots in his locker that most would-be sex maniacs haven’t got. First of all, he liked women, while many men who dog females ferociously seem to be moved more by hatred and contempt than by love. And then again, he had the wit to vary his approaches, instead of coming up with the same tired old fish pate every time.

Harris had a tremendous repertoire of compliments and blandishments, and never used the same line twice. His simplest was:

Won’t you come to me tonight?

And that, after an ardent courtship, melted the knickers off the lovely Irene in Athens. For a colder clime, he would try:

Imagine we’re on a desert island together — alone!

With a sterner race of women like the Nordic or Anglo- Saxon species, he had a more spiritual approach, quoting Browning, and singing love songs in Italian (his basso profundo was much admired). And in case they got the idea that he was only after their bodies, he would offer to show them ‘all the kingdoms of the spirit’. You’ve got to admit that the guy had style.

Some people (especially jealous male people) have taken leave to doubt Harris’s racy amorous autobiography. But supportive evidence exists from one of his lovers, the distinguished writer Enid Bagnold. In her long and full life, the memory of a Harris proposition lived for her in all its freshness. ‘Sex is the gateway to life!’ he told her thrillingly. And she records:

So I went through the gateway to life in an upper room at the Café Royal.

Now that’s the art of the proposition — poetry in motion! If only it could always be like that!

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)
The Art of the Proposition, Enshrines Classic Marriage Proposal part 3

• The Art of the Proposition, Enshrines Classic Marriage Proposal part 1
• The Art of the Proposition, Enshrines Classic Marriage Proposal part 2
• Proposal, Love and Happiness, the Tender Trap part 3
• What a Nerve! Man proposes, God disposes part 2
• Popping the Question, Every man has a proposal in him- somewhere
• Proposal, Love and Happiness, the Tender Trap part 1
• What a Nerve! Man proposes, God disposes part 3
• Marriage, Romantics the Way It Used To Be
• Good Girl Dating to do list: Don't call him just because you're bored or want attention continued
• The Forces Against, Roses, Passion, Music part 2