It is axiomatic that money doesn’t buy you happiness. So what does it buy? Only one important thing: freedom. If you have money, you can choose where you want to work, how much you want to work, or even not to work. You can pop over to another country for the weekend, or buy a beautiful country retreat. You can spend your money on clothes, fancy restaurants, or on your favorite pastime. You are free to choose. How sad it is, therefore, when successful men and women become enslaved rather than liberated by their money.

They end up becoming nothing more than slaves to their desire to possess the best human being. Finally, feeling their biological clock ticking, they end up marrying in haste, often to the man or woman who is the least suited to their needs.

In dating, you should only look for the guy or girl who meets your needs, or in other words, who is good enough – for you. No one will ever be perfect. But there will come a time in your dating life when you will just feel attracted, comfortable and happy with one man or woman. They will offer you that one thing that is the very essence of every romantic relationship, namely, they will make you feel incredibly special and cherished. Even if objectively speaking there are other guys or girls out there who are taller, prettier, richer, thinner, or even more loving, this does not change the simple fact that you have found everything you need. I am not advocating that you lower your standards in dating. On the contrary, I am advocating that you raise your appreciation and sense of thankfulness that you have found someone who uniquely suits you.

Never become complacent

While you should feel completely comfortable and ‘right’ with your girlfriend or boyfriend, do not allow this sense of comfort to slip into one of complacency. If they have become too secure and familiar for you, you may start to covet your freedom to be single, yearn for the excitement of the chase again, since you have long since forgotten how lonely that was.

One of the reasons why we fight with our partners, and sometimes even allow a petty squabble to undo years of love and devotion, is because we lose all sense of proportion. We fight and focus only on the current raw emotions, the hurtful things our partner has just said, and we forget at that moment all the love and devotion that they have shown us over the years. If we have come to take all those things for granted, we may forget them completely and a stupid quarrel can end a long and happy relationship. By consciously remembering all the good things our partner has done for us, we can avoid the temptation to break up every time a row flares up.

I cannot relate how many times I receive calls from guys or girls who have been dating for a long time and now wish to break it off. What I try to do at that point is first to place things in perspective by reminding them of all the good that they have experienced together, and second to have them carefully and patiently think through the implications of their decision, and the pain and loneliness that is bound to ensue. Invariably, they calm down and decide to try again.

Which is another great lesson in dating. All of us should acquire for ourselves a wise and trusted friend or spiritual guide, outside the relationship, with whom we can discuss our relationships and other very important areas of our lives. Don’t be afraid to lean on people, and don’t feel that you have to discuss every last aspect of your relationship only with your partner. It is often far healthier to discuss petty concerns with a good friend who can point out the pettiness of your complaints, than to subject your partner to an unnecessary rant.

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