Speed Dating Events

Well, only some marriages are made in heaven. The others need a fair bit of terrestrial stage management to get them off the ground. This is the story of Maggie and Willie in an evergreen drama, Hobson’s Choice. Maggie, at thirty, is the unmarried daughter of the bootmaker Henry Hobson. She has been working like a dog for her father all her life, and her prospects are getting dimmer rather than brighter.

Maggie develops a fellow-feeling for Willie, her father’s downtrodden labourer, who is nevertheless ‘a genius at making boots’. She forms a plan in her mind — but then she has to break it to Willie:

MAGGIE: We’re a pair, Will Mossop.

WILLIE: You’re a wonder in the shop, Miss Maggie. MAGGIE: And you’re a marvel in the workshop. Well? WILLIE: Well what?

MAGGIE: It seems to me to point one way.

WILLIE: What way is that?

MAGGIE: You’re leaving me to do the work, my lad . . . I’ve watched you for a long time, and everything I’ve seen, I’ve liked. I think you’ll do for me.

WILLIE: What way, Miss Maggie?

The innocent Willie has no idea what’s going on. Beneath her brisk Northern exterior, Maggie is revealing both her true feelings for him, and her scheme for their future life together in a domestic and business partnership:

WILLIE: What dost want me for?

MAGGIE: To invest in. You’re a business idea in the shape of a man.

WILLIE: Partnership! Oh that’s a different thing. I thought you were axing me to wed you.

MAGGIE: I am.

WILLIE: Well, by gum! And you the master’s daughter! MAGGIE: I’ll tell you something, Will. It’s a poor sort

of woman who’ll stay lazy when she sees her best chance

slipping from her.

WILLIE: I’m your best chance?

MAGGIE: You are that, Will . . . I want your hand in mine and your word for it that you’ll go through life with me for the best we can get out of it.

Maggie may be only a Salford lass, but that’s as good a proposal as many a better-educated man has ever made. And like a man, she has to beat down some nervous hesitation on the part of her intended, especially his terror of her tyrannical father.

But comically enough, it is old Hobson who brings out the man in Willie, and throws them into each other’s arms, when he tries to take his belt to Willie and ‘leather the love out of him’:

WILLIE: I’ve nobbut one answer for you. Maggie, I’ve none kissed you yet. I shirked before. But by gum, I’ll kiss you now

HE KISSES HERand take you and hold you. And if Mr Hobson raises that strap again, I’ll do more. I’ll walk straight out of the shop with thee and us two ‘ull set up for ourselves.

MAGGIE: Willie! I knew you had it in you, lad!

This is only the first of many kisses that they enjoy together — and success in their business as well!

Man’s the hunter, woman’s the hunted, so the tradition goes. But sometimes the hunters declare a close season when there’s no reason why the sport shouldn’t be enjoyed all the year round. So if you’re feeling a bit un-hunted, reverse the roles. Borrow a trick or two from any of the women above, stalk your gentleman quarry, and when you’ve got him in your sights — propose!

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