Speed Dating Events

Note that the commandment emphatically uses the words ‘every thing’ in prescribing the act of coveting. There is a profound lesson attached to this, as it points to the fact that we tend to covet selectively, rather than perceiving the entire picture when it comes to the object of our desire.

In this commandment, it is as though God says to us, `Really, you covet your neighbour’s house? You want to have what he has? You want to be him? OK, we can arrange this. But you can’t covet selectively. If you want to be him, it’s got to come with everything. Sure, you’ll get his Ferrari. But you’ll also get the abuse he takes from his boss and his customers, the internal pressures he feels to succeed, the irrational fears he has of failing, and all the misery that accompanies that inner turmoil.’

You may see a young couple kissing passionately in an airport and envy them – but think for a moment. Perhaps they are kissing because he is her lover, and she is trapped in a loveless marriage and they will never meet again, and he will die a sad old bachelor. Or maybe she has something stuck in her teeth, and he is helping her get it out. Or perhaps they are starring in a really mushy long- distance phone call commercial and can’t stand each other. Maybe they are both drug smugglers and she is passing sixteen kilos of cocaine into his mouth to bring into the country.

Do you still envy them? You were only coveting the image of happiness. You cannot possibly know if there is any real happiness there.

An old Jewish folk tale relates how the few inhabitants of a small village all gathered around in a circle, each carrying his `peckel‘, his package representing his life’s troubles and personal sorrows. They all threw their sacks into the middle and were instructed that they could pick up anyone else’s they chose. They could give up all their problems and take on someone else’s peckel.

After a short deliberation, each of the villagers chose their own sacks once again and made their way home with a renewed confidence that they had confirmed their own identities and focused on their blessings instead of only their troubles.

It is crucial that you apply the moral of this story to your relationship. The guy and the girl who swoon over each other at the racetrack and whom you envy have their own peckel of trouble. You are not privy to ‘every thing’ about their relationship – they may have troubles you couldn’t begin to handle. Your own problems are part of your life and God never gives us anything in life that we can’t deal with. Never grow despondent or be defeated by your worries. Rise to the challenge of life and focus on reducing the size of your peckel instead of wishing to switch with someone else.

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