However, there are times when you may feel you have no alternative but to use a person’s covetousness to your advantage. This is especially true for you guys out there who are just hopeless when it comes to meeting women.

If, despite every humiliation you have received in the past, you are desperate to meet women, then I suggest that you accessorise. Have something in hand that you know will draw the females to you. The following are good ideas.

A dog

As opposed to iguanas or lice, dogs are pets that are guaranteed to enhance your social life. Borrow or steal one if you have to, and take it for long walks in the local park. It will be well worth it. You will stop and chat with every dog owner of the opposite sex, and compare notes about the loveable beasts.

If you’re really lucky, then your dog and hers will be of opposite sexes, and will feel a natural attraction. Being far less inhibited than humans, they will express this interest in no uncertain terms. This will be a fantastic intro for you to ask for her phone number.

Children

OK, so you’re not a parent. But still, your married sister can lend you her children. She’ll even pay you for keeping them, although she may stop speaking to you once you bring them back. If you’re a guy, go walking through a park with a child and women are very likely to come over to you to talk and play with the kid.

But, as you walk with the kid, make sure the women walking by know that the little monster is not actually yours. First, if she thinks it’s yours she’ll stay away. She doesn’t want to be the one raising him. Second, the fact that it isn’t yours, and you’re still out there with the kid, exposes you as the kind of soft, emotional guy that women love and can watch adult movie films together. Never mind that you haven’t fed the kid all weekend and you’ve made him wear the same underwear for three nights running. She doesn’t know that. And she won’t know. As she draws closer, tell the kid a stupid joke. Pinch him really hard and force him to laugh. While they laugh their socks off you can meet her eye and invite her into this charmed circle you’ve created.

All children are in league with the devil, causing nothing but mayhem and misery. They are God’s agents to punish adults for all their past sins. Therefore, you may as well get some mileage out of them. Use them to your advantage and then dump ‘em.

A good book

As you sit there on the bus or the tube riding home from work, face it: you look pretty boring. With the exception of one woman, nobody but nobody could ever possibly be interested in you – and your mother is already married. What you need, therefore, is something that blares like a neon sign that although you may have the face of someone with the personality of a chair, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Make sure that the book you’re reading shouts out loud, ‘Hey, I’m different. I’m interesting.’

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