A vintage-style bridal bouquet tends to be larger than others and is arranged in a cascade. To complete the look, choose classic flowers that have been used in weddings for many years.

Some important things to remember when holding your bridal bouquet:

• Round, heart, cascade, and crescent bouquets are normally carried in front, low enough to reveal the details of the neckline and bodice of the bride’s gown. The bouquet is held with both hands and arms rest at the hips.
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• Small, lightweight, and delicate bouquets such as nosegays, clutch bouquets, or single blossoms can be carried to the side with one hand and are generally held at the same level as a bouquet held in front.
• If the nosegay is mounted in an elaborate tussy mussy, consider displaying it in the front rather than the side. To hold it properly, carry the tussy mussy upwards with the forearm bent so it is horizontal (parallel to the floor), while the elbow rests on the hip.
• Floral pomanders (bloom-covered balls or cones suspended from a ribbon) can be carried to the side or in front.

Arm bouquets feature long floral stems and should rest cradled in the inner bend of the elbow with the blossom end of the flowers facing away from the body.

Every flower has a special meaning, which means the blooms chosen for the bouquet can say a lot about your love and relationship.

If you’re enamored with the Victorian era, consider carrying a nosegay, a small, round cluster of aromatic flowers with lots of greenery and ribbon streamers. Nosegays can be carried in a family heirloom or reproduction tussy mussy, which is a small, Victorian-style metal or glass cone-shaped holder.

The cascade bouquet is a traditional, sophisticated choice. The elongated style is full and abundant, with blossoms at the top of the bouquet that taper downwards with flowing foliage, floral streamers, or ribbons at the bottom.

A sweet cookie surprise is a welcome party favor. Check the cooking aisle of a craft store for easy ideas for decorating and frosting cookies and other treats.

Shiny silver favor boxes can be painted flat white and embellished with paper flowers for a classic country look. Small boxes can be dressed up with ribbon roses and trims that match the wedding colors. White heart-shaped favor boxes have endless decorative possibilities, including ribbon, trims, beads, and flowers. Miniature baskets are ready for the occasion with flowers and ribbon.

Craft stores have many wonderful boxes, baskets, and other small containers for party favors. While they may seem a bit plain and unimpressive at first, you can find everything you need to dress up these small trinket holders just an aisle or two over.

Handmade paper gift boxes can be covered with fabric or simply painted, and adorned with ribbon and small artificial flowers. Be as elaborate as you like, and fill the box with just about anything—from candy to fresh flower petals.

A shiny round box can be spray painted and adorned with tiny embellishments. Miniature silver baskets and heart-shaped boxes can be trimmed with ribbons, with pearl trim and flowers attached with a glue gun.

If it’s a tasty treat you envision, consider a day or two in the kitchen making cookies for your guests. Tucked in a cellophane bag and tied with a pretty bow, these treats will leave a lasting impression—and a few crumbs for certain—at the end of wedding festivities.

A beautifully lettered scroll is a welcome invitation to any party. There are numerous computer fonts that mimic the art of calligraphy.

A small French clay herb pot holds the invitation to a bridal shower. The pots are available in gourmet cooking stores.

You won’t be giving your own bridal shower, but friends and family may ask you for a few ideas of what you would like.

Since there are fewer guests at a bridal shower than the actual wedding, there may be more time to spend on the details of the invitations.

If you love French Country, draw on elements that connect with the Old World—old herb crocks, lavender, and home cooking.

A taste of Provencal inspires an invitation tucked inside a small crock adorned with French writing—on its lid is a charming label. The invitation is written on one long piece of artist’s paper that measures 1″ x 15.” This is just enough space to include the pertinent details including time, date, place, and response information.

Once the invite is tucked inside, the jar is filled with dried lavender for a presentation that’s both original and aromatic. The jar can be reused to spread fragrance throughout the receiver’s home.

• Holding a late afternoon ceremony. Not only does this give you both plenty of time to get ready, it also means you save money by only having to feed your guests once during the day.
• Persuading a friend or relative with a nice car to let you use it as the wedding transport.
• Hiring rather than buying outfits for the males in the wedding party. There are some good menswear designers who offer wedding hire so you might want to consider hiring your own outfit as well.
• Choosing flowers that are in season and using plenty of foliage to fill them out. Also, don’t leave your ceremony flowers for only the vicar to enjoy; transporting the flowers from your ceremony to your reception venue would save lots of money.

• Having a weekday wedding, which can be a lot cheaper than a Saturday wedding.
  Also consider getting married outside of the peak May to September period.

• Not inviting children to the reception — but only if that won’t cause family ructions.
• Making your own invitations (don’t even think of using email for your invitations), or asking a friend with good handwriting to write the menus and placecards.
• Making a CD of your favourite songs to play during the meal; live music is great but not essential and your own compilation can be a nice personal touch. Serving your wedding cake instead of a separate dessert.
• Serving bucks fizz to make your champagne go further, or in winter mulled wine is a cheaper drinks option.
• Inviting only close friends and family to the ceremony and wedding breakfast but having a larger party in the evening, which the majority of guests are invited to.

Sticking to your budget

Once your budget has been decided, keep a proper note of what’s been spent and if, for example, the dress ends up costing more than predicted you’ll have to cut back on what you spend on, say, the flowers. Any number of people from your parents to your florist will try to persuade you to spend more: your aunty may tell you that having no cake is just not the done thing; the caterers may try to insist that the medium-priced menu option is far superior to the basic and you’d be letting everyone down if you didn’t go for it.

Ignore them. You know what your budget is and you know what you want, so don’t let yourself be bullied into anything else. Better still, avoid any suppliers who try to force you to spend more than you want to; they’re meant to be working for you — remember?

You are bound to overspend in some areas but try to keep a tight rein on it, even if you have allowed a small contingency fund. And if you suddenly find yourself or the wife-to-be planning to order an extra-large chocolate fountain, ask yourself if you really need it. Just close your eyes and picture yourselves on a tropical beach on your honeymoon being able to afford that extra glass of rum punch. It will remind you that the money might be better spent elsewhere.

Budget will also play a major part in this decision as nothing can really be decided until you know how much cash you have to play with. You may want to entertain everyone you’ve ever met in sumptuous style but if your budget will only stretch to a finger buffet for twenty people you will have to do some serious compromising.

Setting a date

Do you have a specific date that means a lot to you both or are you prepared to be flexible about the time of year if it means you can have the venue you want? The most popular time of year for weddings is between late spring and early autumn but marrying outside of this time could save you money. It’s also worth considering giving yourselves enough time to save up for the wedding if you need to although, however long you have, the wedding planning will expand to take up all the available time — whether it’s months, years or decades. • Spring: you are taking a bit of a chance with the weather butyou could be lucky and priceswon’t be at their highest.

• Summer: high season for weddings because you are more likely to have some sunshine and you can choose warm weather reception options such as marquees and garden parties.
• Autumn: the end of the wedding season when it’s easier to book suppliers and venues, although September is still a very popular month.
• Winter: a romantic season to marry, with the early evenings and possibilities for candles and so on. Generally it’s also a bit cheaper and since you shouldn’t have any expectations about the weather it can’t let you down.

Also think about what day of the week you would like your wedding to be on. The current trend is for weekday weddings as they can work out much cheaper than the traditional Saturday wedding, which your venue and a large number of your suppliers will charge a premium for.

Traditionally the father of the bride speaks first and thanks all the guests for coming. He then normally says a few words about his daughter before proposing a toast to the happy couple. After he’s sat down it’s your turn. Your major jobs are:

• to thank the father of the bride for his speech and his toast
• to say something about how happy you are today and something about your fantastic new wife
• to give out thank-you gifts to your best man and ushers, as well as the bridesmaids, the mothers of the bride and groom and anyone else who may have helped out — your neighbour who made the cake for example
• to finish by toasting the bridesmaids.

Your speech is then followed by the best man’s. His role is to thank you for your toast to the bridesmaids, on their behalf, and also to offer thanks from any other attendants. After that he’s expected to launch into a humorous speech with plenty of anecdotes about you but finding a tone that will appeal to both your lewdest mates and your grandma, plus he has to manage not to offend anyone whilst still being entertaining. Finally he has to say something nice about you too before proposing a toast to the happy couple. It’s a tall order.

It’s not unusual these days for the chief bridesmaid to stand up to say a few words. The best man speech is always the one most anticipated so it’s generally saved until last so, while the chief bridesmaid can be fitted into the order wherever seems most appropriate, perhaps the best choice is just before the best man.

There are a few basic rules that you would do well to adhere to:

• You need to be entertaining but, more importantly, sincere. Your guests will be expecting the best man to provide the belly laughs not you, so they will really just want to hear something about how important this day and your new wife are to you.
• Try not to get carried away. Any more than seven minutes is really too long.
• Commit as much of your speech to memory as you can so that you can look at your guests or your bride when you are speaking. If you can’t do that, at least memorise the opening lines and then try to look up as much as possible when you are reading from your sheet.

Speak loudly and try not to rush. The temptation will be to speed through it all if you are nervous but it will come across as garbled. Guests won’t know what you are saying and therefore you won’t get the responses you are after.

Don’t go it alone

It’s not unusual these days for your bride to want to stand up and say a few words too. There’s no traditional format for when and how she does this so it’s really up to you both. She might want to follow you, before the best man has a turn, or it might be nice if she speaks directly after her father and personally thanks him for his kind words about her. Equally, you could stand up together and share a speech, which means she can also take part in giving out thank-you gifts and take some of the pressure off you.

Just a shy guy

If the thought of standing up in front of a crowd is giving you sleepless nights, try to stay calm. If you are being made deeply unhappy by the whole idea, then you don’t have to say any more than the minimum thank you and toasts. But remember that this is a one-off moment in you life, so it might be a shame to let it pass without saying something. Everyone at the wedding will want the best for you; they are your friends and it is your wedding day, so they’re really not going to be mean.

Finally, smile and remember that the best man probably feels a lot more nervous than you do right now, which should pay him back for anything mean he did to you on the stag night.

The co-ordinator at your wedding venue should be able to give you a few ideas, or flick through magazines for suggestions. If you are having a theme, kitting out your venue to match will be an important part of it.

Flowers always look beautiful but they can be very expensive, particularly if you are having a winter wedding. Save money by moving the flower displays — carefully! — from your ceremony to your reception and bulking out a few pretty flowers with foliage to make larger displays.

Wedding Favours

These are the little things you put on the table as gifts to your guests, regardless of the fact that you are giving them a whole day of free food, drink and entertainment. Traditionally a favour was a gift of five symbolic sugared almonds, but at a modern wedding favour boxes with gold-plated decorations are not unheard of and popular options include candles, chocolates, bars of soap and sweets wrapped in lurid pieces of frilly net. You are probably thinking that they’re no use to man nor beast. Your bride, on the other hand, is likely to be thinking: Ahh, what a cute little flowery favour box. That’ll make a perfect gift that my guests will treasure forever, and they only cost £5 each!’

If you have money to spare what’s the harm in indulging your guests? But if you are already having to tighten your belts then this is one thing you can do without — or do on the cheap. If your bride is getting carried away with expensive favours, remind her that only her mum will actually keep and treasure them forever and a good few of the others won’t even get taken home from the reception.

The first night hotel

This is one hundred per cent your job and you need to get it right — messing up the first night of your married life together does not bode well. As more and more couples have lived together before the wedding, the traditional sight of newlyweds leaving the reception early and heading to a posh hotel for their first night of passion together, or even straight off on honeymoon, is becoming less and less common.

If you do plan to leave the reception early, get the best man to make sure your luggage is ready in the car. Try to find a nice hotel a short drive away from the reception and, if you are heading off on honeymoon the next day, pre-book a cab to the airport. Ideally find something that’s a bit romantic and more luxurious than your normal standard.

Obviously not all grooms are the same and it’s important to establish which category you fall into regarding your impending nuptials and what kind of role you want to play in the whole proceedings. It’s also important to determine whether the love of your life is happy with the category you fall into as well — your happiness, not to mention physical wellbeing, may depend on it.

Groom A

You are as laid back as they come and you feel this truly is the bride’s day. You are happy to let her plan all the arrangements from the colour theme to the menu and as long as she’s happy you are too. If she asks you to do specific things then you are more than willing to help out, but everyone knows that organising is not your strong point, let alone choosing flowers and cake decorations. It’s generally assumed that your main job is to turn up at the right time on the right day in the right outfit.

Groom B

You are happy to get stuck into the time-honoured male roles of booking the transport and sorting out the honeymoon and you like the sound of finding the band — but table centrepieces and bridesmaids’ accessories leave you cold. As far as you are concerned, there is no improving on the traditional allocation of the bride’s and groom’s roles and she can get on with hers while you happily search the Internet for that cool sports car you want to turn up in.

Groom C

You are keen to get involved, as to your mind it’s just as much your day as it is the bride’s and you want to have a joint say in how your own wedding pans out. You know what you like and actually enjoy discussions about how the tables will look and who gets to sit where as you don’t want to turn up on the day not knowing what to expect. You want everything from the flowers to the music to be to your taste as well as your fiancée’s and will certainly tell her if you disagree with her ideas. You want the wedding day you end up with to be a combination of both your personal styles.

Getting married is a big thing and shouldn’t be taken lightly — it’s human nature to be a little uncertain. It would probably be more unusual for you not to be a little bit scared!

If your jitters last more than a few weeks and start to become something serious, that’s the time to worry. Tell your partner how you feel and consider putting the wedding back a little if need be, particularly if other important life events have happened — such as the loss of a loved one — to give you time to resolve any problems.

Wedding Parental control

Rowing with your partner may be the least of your worries and it may be her or your parents who are causing the arguments. If either set of parents is contributing towards the wedding they may feel they can have some say in the arrangements. It’s polite to listen to what they think but if it’s something you really don’t want or aren’t happy with then there is nothing wrong with putting your foot down. It is your day after all.

Your little wedding white lies

It may be very tempting to tell the odd little white lie, such as ‘the bridesmaids headdresses look great’ or ‘no darling, I’m totally happy to stand in a receiving line’, to protect yourself from the horror of any more wedding planning stress. Tread carefully; if you couldn’t give two hoots about the bridesmaids’ headdresses and your bride’s happy then fair enough. If you’re actually going to be quietly fuming about standing in line and greeting your guests for an hour and a half, then be honest. You don’t want to be forced to do anything you don’t want to on the big day and it’s certainly not a great way to start a relationship by lying, no matter how well intentioned.

Wedding Survival Tips

If all your efforts to calm her down and reassure her are falling on deaf ears, point her in the direction of the chat rooms at www.youandyourwedding.co.uk. She’ll be able to share the horror of failing to source the right kind of chocolate fountain with people who truly understand her — other brides-to-be.

If you can feel a pre-wedding slanging match brewing, go for a quick walk. Walk round the block to cool off and then head home to resume discussing whatever it is calmly.