Speed Dating Events

You haven’t been on a date for as long as you can remember. Then again, you’ve been so busy working/talking on the phone/staring into space that you really haven’t had a chance to meet the four available, straight, single men in your metropolitan area. Fair enough. But maybe it’s time to stop making excuses and to ask yourself that crucial question: What am I waiting for?

We’re not saying that getting a date is easy. But was getting a job so simple? Or finding an apartment? In any event, you’ll be a lot happier if you make your own love life happen. As the old saying goes, if you want something done right, by gum, you’ve got to do it yourself. It’s a simple fact. Trust us. Or better yet, get out there and see for yourself.

Talk first. Forget all that hooey about not speaking until spoken to. Men love being approached. And if you start the conversation, it’s easier to walk away if you decide you don’t really like the guy. So flex your jaw, stretch out your vocal cords, and try something like, “Don’t I know you from the cinematographer’s party?” Okay, maybe not that, but our point is that if you can just muster up a little chutzpah and eke out a few syllables, you can start the ball rolling.

Use your friends. Networking on the job is tacky at best; networking for dates, on the other hand, is not only acceptable but strongly encouraged. Just make sure that the friend is trustworthy; that she knows more about the person she’s setting you up with than his age, alma mater, and hair color; and that after it’s a done deal, she’ll keep her fat nose out of your business.

Be clumsy (on purpose). What better way to meet someone than by spilling your drink on his lap? This way, you get to do all sorts of lovely things like apologizing profusely, swabbing him nice and dry (paper towels optional), or insisting that you take his pants to the dry cleaners right then and there. If you prefer a less dramatically liquid approach, you can “accidentally” brush against him at a crowded bar or trip past him on the stairs at a party. This is an effective way to get attention, gives him a free view of your saucy little ass, and will make you appear charmingly helpless and in need of rescue. He can find out the truth later.

Have props. It always helps to have a guaranteed conversation-starter. Our suggestions: a dog, a book, a quirky piece of jewelry, a funny hat, a pretty child (clearly not yours), a musical instrument. This way, he’s got an excuse to approach you in a casual, nonthreatening way. You know how men do so love their excuses.

Go backless. No man can resist putting his hand on the sweet, soft curve of a woman’s back. Plus, going bare-back is much more subtle than the low-cut, high-cut, whole-body-exposure look (although if that’s your thing, then by all means, wear it in good health). Remember: Not all treats have to be skimpy, they just have to make you feel delicious. In the long run, your best policy is to pick out something flattering and wear it easily. Being comfortable in your own skin—and outfit—goes a long way toward making you irresistible.

Position yourself. Location, location, location: It isn’t true just for real estate. One of the first rules of successful date-making is to be in the right place at the right time. How? Look around you. If the guys are crowded around the jukebox, well, isn’t it uncanny how you have a quarter burning a hole in your pocket? If the shoeshine stand is filled to capacity, you just can’t help but notice that your boots are looking mighty scuffed. Think logically. For example, if you’re in a bar, there are three things every man will have to do in the course of the night: buy a drink, use the men’s room, and leave. So pick a prime spot—be it the front door, the bathroom door, or the bar— and enjoy the view.

Talk last. Just as beginning a conversation can give you untold appeal (not to mention control), so can ending it. Why get left behind when you can do the leaving? So go ahead, jump to a conclusion—with any luck, it’ll leave him wanting more. Say something like, “It was nice meeting you, but I have to go; my friends are waiting for me.” If you like him, take his phone number. Tell him you’ll call him sometime. And then, if you feel like it, do just that.

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