Do I lift weights? Sure. Every time I stand up.
Boy, am I exhausted. I went on a double date the other night and the other girl didn’t turn up.
Your spouse should be attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.
My wife and I have a great relationship. I love sex and she‘ll do anything to get out of the kitchen.
I wanted to marry her ever since I saw the moonlight shining on the barrel of her father’s shotgun.
A man without a woman is like a moose without a hatrack.
There are men I could spend eternity with — but not this life.
I learned about sex from my mother. I asked her where babies came from and she thought I said rabies. She said from a dog bite and a week later a lady on our block gave birth to triplets. I thought she had been bitten by a Great Dane.
When I got back from my third honeymoon, I just couldn’t understand why my husband wanted to come into the house with me. I was just about to say,”Thanks for a nice time“.
Women now expect men to watch them have babies.This is called natural childbirth.
It is said of me that when I was young, I divided my time impartially among wine, women and song. I deny this categorically. Ninety per cent of my interests were women.
Between them the two men had a sperm count smaller than Cheltenham Ladies’ College.
I knew Elizabeth Taylor when she didn’t know where her next husband was coming from.
I am ninety-five. I still chase girls but I can’t remember why.
From my experience of life I believe my personal motto should be “Beware of men bearing flowers“.
My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman. Still, I’ve got another three goes.
Having a baby is one of the hardest and most strenuous things known to man. Read the rest of this entry »
