Speed Dating Events

Remember, The Dating are about the long haul. The wa_y a man behaves—rather, the way you allow him to behave toward you—during your courtship is usually the way he will behave during your marriage. For example, if he’s last minute about dating you, he’ll be last minute and inattentive about you in other ways. That’s why last-minute dates are just unacceptable. Men who call ten minutes before they’re going to be in your area to see you may be terrific dates, but how busy and hard to get are you if they can see you in ten minutes? If you give in, these men will end up treating you like someone they can get in ten minutes. Read the rest of this entry »

Our friend Kate felt that she was “losing” Jeff, her boyfriend of three months, when after a Saturday night date he said good-bye very casually and told her, “I’ll call you. I’ll let you know what’s a good night for me next week.” Kate felt the tables turning and took an extreme but necessary Dating action. She didn’t answer her phone the night he usually called. She just listened to it ring and ring. When he finally reached her the next day at work, he was a little less cocky and somewhat nervous. He asked her what night would be good for her! The phone strategy worked — he never pulled another stunt like that again. Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t call men,except occasionally to return their calls. When a boyfriend calls you, don’t stay on the phone for more than ten minutes. Buy a timer if you have to. When the bell rings, you have to go! That way you seem busy and you won’t give away too much about yourself or your plans (even if you don’t have any plans). By ending the conversation first, you leave them wanting more. Good conversation enders are: “I have a million things to do,” “Well, it’s been really nice talking to you,” “Actually, I’m kind of busy right now,” and “My beeper’s beeping, got to run!” Remember to say these things in a very nice way. Read the rest of this entry »

Why take a chance?

Invariably, when you call him, he will get off the phone first or quickly and you might misinterpret his busyness as disinterest. You may even think that he’s with another woman! Understandably, you feel empty and nervous for the rest of the day or evening or until you hear from him again. This nervousness might make you call him again to ask, “Is everything okay?” or “Do you still love me? miss me?” And, you end up breaking more rules!

So, if you don’t want a man to know how much you like him, or that you feel empty and insecure, don’t call him. If he leaves a message on your machine to return his call, try not to. Only call him back right away if it’s a scheduling change regarding an upcoming date or event, not just to chat. Read the rest of this entry »

Girls spend years building up the know-how necessary to handle this monstrous regiment of men on the make. Luckily most of them turn out to be squaddies from the Brigade of Gunners — they’re gonna do this and they’re gonna do that, but they’re all flash and no bang because there’s not enough lead in their pellets to make the stub of a blunt pencil. But that still leaves enough men who are licensed to injure if not kill a lady, and a girl’s education in self-defence against these 003¹/2s starts at an early age. There used to be a skipping game at my school of Mixed Infants which built up to the triumphant rhythmic climax of little females chanting in unison:

I WOULD if I COULD

But I WANT to be GOOD

And I’m NOT that KIND of a GIRL! Read the rest of this entry »

Of all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are, ‘It might have been’.

Among the annals of marriage proposal, a special chapel of remembrance hung with rosemary and rue must be set aside for those which however deeply desired, are not fated to succeed. Many couples do not manage to make the step from private love to public commitment. They do not get the marriage act together, for any number of reasons. Read the rest of this entry »

Well, only some marriages are made in heaven. The others need a fair bit of terrestrial stage management to get them off the ground. This is the story of Maggie and Willie in an evergreen drama, Hobson’s Choice. Maggie, at thirty, is the unmarried daughter of the bootmaker Henry Hobson. She has been working like a dog for her father all her life, and her prospects are getting dimmer rather than brighter.

Maggie develops a fellow-feeling for Willie, her father’s downtrodden labourer, who is nevertheless ‘a genius at making boots’. She forms a plan in her mind — but then she has to break it to Willie: Read the rest of this entry »

Brutally Ransome fights off all remonstration, all reproach: ‘do you suppose I pretend not to be selfish?’ he demands. ‘She’s mine or she isn’t, and if she’s mine she’s all mine.’ Even the pleas of Verena herself have no impact on him:

‘Oh, let me off, let me off . . . its too terrible, it’s impossible. Now I want you to go away — I will see you tomorrow, as long as you wish. That’s all I want now; if you will only go away it’s not too late, and everything will be alright!’

In answer, Ransome simply states:

We shall catch the night train for New York, and the first thing in the morning we shall be married. Read the rest of this entry »

Yonder a maid and her wight

Go whispering by,

War’s annals will fade into night

Ere their story die.

It is LOVELY WHEN DUKES FIND their Duchesses. Or any kind of lord or lordling, baron or baronet. But making a magic proposal is not the monopoly of a titled or educated man. The wonders of falling in love and wanting to marry are available to all comers, high and low alike. It’s a real- life drama of dreams come true for every new couple. Read the rest of this entry »

Amazingly, Lord Randolph stood firm under this battery, and went on to repeat his proposal to Jennie Jerome in form. She married him, and subsequently became the mother of Winston Churchill. What more could any woman have done for England?

But Jennie’s life was to be dogged by domineering males poking their noses into her love affairs. Later, after she was widowed, she was courted by a much younger man. No less a person than Edward, Prince of Wales, intervened this time, to tell her that if she married her lover she would never be able to mix in court circles again. This was a royal act of humbug from the princely hypocrite, to condone an affair but not a marriage — and the Prince’s own dedication to the art of the horizontal hardly qualified him to give a moral lead! In the end Jennie cocked the aristocratic equivalent of two fingers at the whole pack of them, married her lover anyway, and did not lose either her friends or her position. Read the rest of this entry »