Loving unions are all about giving and taking, making and meeting requests. There are so many small things that each person can ask of and do for the other to make the love grow. For example, Val’s request to be told, at least once a week, that she is breathtakingly beautiful has done wonders for her partnership. Ellen’s request that she be told, at least twice a week, that she is more beautiful than Val has done likewise. And since your partner can’t be expected to read your mind, the premise here is: Ask and ye shall receive. Read the rest of this entry »

In a similar way, when a man makes a mistake and a woman is on his case to remind him, he is not free to reflect on his error and plan to learn from it. When a woman corrects a man’s behavior, he instinctively moves to defend it by returning to his cave where only “Male” is spoken. Read the rest of this entry »

Much simpler is the line with which delicious dirty Dick scores in The Group, Mary McCarthy’s scintillating expose of how girls lose their innocence. And the most innocent of them all was the well-bred Bostonian, Dottie: Read the rest of this entry »

In fairness, even the most dreadful line can work. A handsome Aussie has made himself the Terror of Earl’s Court with his killing parodies of the Private Eye gag, ‘Let’s uncoil the one-eyed trouser snake’. He could also pull out ‘pyjama python’ and the whole armoury of cod okkerisms when he felt like a textual variant. Read the rest of this entry »

A proposition can be stylish, elegant and flowery — if you’re in luck. But most men weren’t cut out for scaling the heights of poetry and passion — the very idea is enough to bring on a severe attack of vertigo in the average Briton. And being a down-to-earth sort, Mr Average sees no point in beating about the gooseberry bush. If he fancies a bit of sub rosa at the bottom of your garden, the old Adam in him will just put it to you, thorns and all. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s quite common these days for men to ask women out for the same night or the very next day. And it’s equally common for women to accept such casual, last-minute invitations out of fear that it will be the best offer they get that week. But this is not a Dating date. The man who eventually wants to marry you will not wait until the last minute to ask you out. On the contrary, he is kind, considerate, thoughtful and also afraid that if he doesn’t pin you down five days in advance, he may not see you for another week. And when he is in love with you, a week will feel like eternity! Read the rest of this entry »

Being a creature unlike any other is a state of mind. You don’t have to be rich, beautiful, or exceptionally smart to feel this way about yourself. And you don’t have to be born with this feeling either.

Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It’s the way you smile (you light up the room), pause in between sentences (you don’t babble on and on out of nervousness), listen (attentively), look (demurely, never stare), breathe (slowly), stand (straight), and walk (briskly, with your shoulders back). Read the rest of this entry »

A lover who is more than ready for the strike is Andrew Marvell. One of the most famous propositions of all time is the poetical reproach he addressed To His Coy Mistress some time in the swinging seventeenth century. The time and effort he’s invested in the seduction has led him to feel he’s overdue for his reward. Why doesn’t she come through?

This witty poem has had a comical history. It always appears in anthologies under ‘Love Poems‘, whereas in reality it’s a sparkling piece of aggro, obviously written in a fit of teeth-grinding frustration. Read the rest of this entry »

Oh maiden, let your distaff be,

And pace the flowery meads with me, And 1 will tell you lies . . .

Oh follow me where love is flown, Into the leafy woods alone,

And I will work you ill.

Once upon time, long ago and far away, men didn’t just up and out with it. They expected to have to court the chosen lady, to flatter, to persuade, to beat down a real resistance. They had to stoke up the fires of passion if they hoped to build up a head of steam. Read the rest of this entry »

One of the greatest payoffs of doing The Rules is that you grow to love only those who love you. If you have been following the suggestions you have learned to take care of yourself. You’re eating well and working out. You’re busy with interests and hobbies and dating, and you’re not calling or chasing men. You have high self-esteem because you are not sleeping around or having affairs with married men. You love with your head, not just your heart. You are honest; you have boundaries, values, and ethics. You are special, a creature unlike any other. Any man would be lucky to have you! Read the rest of this entry »