A man with pierced ears is better prepared for marriage. He has experienced pain and bought jewellery.

Only a flaw of fate prevented Vita Sackville-West from being one of nature’s gentlemen.

Women are a problem, but they are the kind of problem I enjoy wrestling with. Read the rest of this entry »

‘I want to ask you a question.’

‘What?’ I said, in a small unpromising voice. ‘How would you like to be Mrs Buddy Willard?’

‘Man proposes, God disposes’, runs the proverb. And women have to put up with the mess they both make of it’, as one of England’s premier duchesses observes in her irreverent moments. Since society and custom have traditionally favoured men with the right of proposing, all too often women are no more than sitting ducks — and there are some terrible bird dogs around. Read the rest of this entry »

Self-stimulation can help survivors through impasses with insertion. Stimulate the clitoris before and during the dilator exercises. Sexual arousal increases natural lubrication and causes vaginal expansion, often making insertion easier. This variation is also useful in helping a survivor associate pleasurable sensations with vaginal fullness. Feeling comfortable with these sensations can eventually facilitate the ability to have orgasms during intercourse. Read the rest of this entry »

Women survivors may have difficulty with vaginal penetration because of two sexual problems.

Vaginismus is a reflexive tightening of the muscles in the outer third of the vagina when penetration is attempted. Women with this condition may have difficulty with intercourse as well as with insertion of a finger, dildo, or medical instrument.

Dyspareunia, or painful intercourse, is another dysfunction that can make intercourse difficult. In this condition, a woman experiences pain as burning, cramping, or sharpness that begins sometime during intercourse itself. Both vaginismus and dyspareunia can result from associating fear and pain of past sexual abuse with present intercourse. In some cases painful intercourse may be directly related to actual physical damage to vaginal tissues, nerves, and internal organs done during brutal sexual assault. Read the rest of this entry »