It’s quite common these days for men to ask women out for the same night or the very next day. And it’s equally common for women to accept such casual, last-minute invitations out of fear that it will be the best offer they get that week. But this is not a Dating date. The man who eventually wants to marry you will not wait until the last minute to ask you out. On the contrary, he is kind, considerate, thoughtful and also afraid that if he doesn’t pin you down five days in advance, he may not see you for another week. And when he is in love with you, a week will feel like eternity!

Needless to say, men don’t always know that they shouldn’t be calling you on Thursday or Friday night for a Saturday night date. Other women have spoiled them by accepting last-minute offers. As we’ve stated, ideally he should ask you out at the end of your last date or call you as early as Monday or Tuesday for the next Saturday night. The Dating will make you foremost on his mind, the first thing he thinks about in the morning. And if you are always on his mind, he won’t want to wait until Thursday to call you.

It may be a telltale sign of how a man feels about you if he doesn’t call you early in the week. The best way to encourage him to phone sooner is to turn him down when he calls on Thursday for Saturday night. Hopefully, he will get the hint. This is not a game. It is essential that men ask you out early in the week because, as a Dating woman, you simply can’t put your life on hold until Thursday or Friday! You have friends and lots of things to do. You need to know ahead of time if you’re going to have a date Saturday night or go to the movies with the girls. When men are calling you as late as Thursday, you become a nervous wreck. You’re frenetically checking your answering machine, or if you live at home, you’re constantly asking your mother if he called. Basically, you’re living on the edge. Dating girls don’t live on the edge. They have plans.

If he hasn’t called by Wednesday night, make other plans for the weekend. Then you must politely decline if he calls Thursday and nonchalantly asks, “Hey, pet, what are you doing Saturday night?”

Practice the following answer in the nicest voice possible: “Oh, I’m so sorry, but I’ve already made plans.” Don’t break down and go out with him even though you’d much rather do that than hang out with the girls or go out with another man you don’t like as much. And don’t counteroffer by saying, “But I’m free Monday.” Men have to ask you out without your help. But don’t reprimand him for calling do late in the week. Be very nice, but very firm when you say no. Also, don’t say what your plans are because it doesn’t matter. What matters is the message you’re sending, which is: If you want to get a Saturday night date with me, you must call on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday.

Now you may be saying to yourself, “This is all so rigid, lots of men make plans when the mood strikes them, what’s wrong with spontaneity?” These arguments sound convincing, but the reality is not so pleasant. When Ted first called our friend Beth on a Thursday night for a Saturday night date, she said yes right away. That set a bad precedent for him calling her at the last minute for future dates. Although they went out for a few months, he never thought that much about her during the week and she felt confused by the relationship because she was never sure if she was going to, see him Saturday night.

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