Speed Dating Events

Remember, The Dating are about the long haul. The wa_y a man behaves—rather, the way you allow him to behave toward you—during your courtship is usually the way he will behave during your marriage. For example, if he’s last minute about dating you, he’ll be last minute and inattentive about you in other ways. That’s why last-minute dates are just unacceptable. Men who call ten minutes before they’re going to be in your area to see you may be terrific dates, but how busy and hard to get are you if they can see you in ten minutes? If you give in, these men will end up treating you like someone they can get in ten minutes.

But remember to be very nice when you say no.

Don’t think negatively, “This man doesn’t think much of me to call right before he wants to see me,” or scream, “No, I’m busy,” and slam down the phone. He isn’t thinking that at all. He isn’t thinking that he’s not treating you like a creature unlike any other. Give him a break. Dating girls are an unusual breed. As we’ve suggested, nicely say, “No, wow, I wish I wasn’t busy!” Then sigh and get off the phone. He will soon realize that you simply want to be asked in advance for a date. Again, men are not trying to hurt you when they call at the last minute. Don’t be offended, just train them to call earlier without actually demanding it of them.

Spontaneity is not “Hi. Want to see a movie this afternoon?” That call might have come out of boredom or the fact that the woman he really wants to be with is busy. He didn’t call you in advance, dream about you for a week, and get all excited about putting his arm around your shoulders during the movie. He didn’t think of your date together as something precious that must be scheduled in advance like a reservation at a very exclusive restaurant. Spontaneity is fine, but it should happen during the date, such as an unexpected drive to the beach after dinner.

We often hear about “spontaneous” women who go out with men on twenty-four hours’ notice. We wish them luck. When a man knows he can have you five minutes after his last girlfriend gave him the boot, he’ll call you because he’s lonely or bored, not because he’s crazy about you. In such cases, buyer beware: it won’t last. Free spirits might object to what we are saying, but for long-lasting results we believe in treating dating like a job, with dating and regulations. Just like you have to work from nine to five, no matter how you feel, we believe you have to silently train men to make plans with you (elusive, busy, happy you!) ahead of time. When you do The Dating, what you’re really doing is giving men the secret, silent code that they understand very well. If you make it too easy for men, they’re certain to take advantage and then you can forget about getting a Dating marriage.

We realize that the days in between dates with the man you are crazy about can be long and excruciating; but, remember, it’s worse to say yes indiscriminately whenever he wants to see you and risk him getting bored. If you play your cards right, he will reach the conclusion that the only way to see you whenever he wants, at the last minute, is to marry you!

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